Little by little, in the past couple of years, I have been feeling God's nudge to get back to a decidedly Spirit-led path. Being first-born, perhaps a bit headstrong, and definitely a glutton for information, it is hard to let go and let God, as they say. Lately, I find that my commitment to remain close to God, through prayer, praise, music and reading His Word daily, has kept me on a unique path that has created great peace. The world is crazy, it seems. Truth is in short supply. If I did not have God constantly before me, I would be grieving without relief.

It is in saying this here, that I recommit my coaching practice to serve Jesus, my Master. I believe the time is getting close to His return, and I feel led to support His people, who as I do, desire to keep Him front and center in their lives.

And so, this is my path, the one that God has guided me to. The path He enriches through his Holy Spirit's leading. It's not boring here, but daily filled with with new insights and challenges He helps me navigate. He can help you, too.

Look up, everyone. God is good!

Coach Leona

​About two weeks ago, I down-sized. This involved leaving a 4,000 square foot home and moving what I could not give away into a ranch half that size.  How is it going? Slowly.

And I talk to myself a lot.

I can characterize my very unwarp-like speed by describing a box lid, now morphed into two box lids, filled to overflowing with things I want to keep but have no idea where to put. In this process of down-sizing, I have moved from a bedroom-sized office complete with file cabinets, an expandable work table (AKA desk), storage cabinets, and comfy oversized lounging furniture – you know, just in case I feel the need for a break – to a red painted cabinet that houses my computer and the bare essentials of office equipment that I desperately want to maintain as organized and functional.  And there is still the kitchen table for when I want to stretch out. Multi-functional works in my brain.

I am blessed.  Truly.

These two box lids and I, however, are developing an adversarial relationship. They refuse to present a solution to me, and so they remain, day after day, greedily concealing the beautiful quartz island we paid a fortune for.  Occasionally I begin to look through their contents, and then, I pull my hands away and mutter something like, “Oh, is that where that went?” or “Tomorrow. Yes, probably tomorrow.” I have the best intentions, and yet the box lids remain.

I could look at the piles as treasure waiting to be found again. I could separate each precious item into some piles of relatedness – divide and conquer, a step at a time, large to small and voila! Or I could take the box lids to the basement, clear my counter, and be done with them. I know I have choices here. I like choices. Mostly.

I think the real challenge is that while making this transition, so many things call to me. For example, I spend an inordinate amount of time looking on the internet for rugs to cover my floors before my dogs’ nails destroy them. I have made endless trips to the Home Depot for many necessities and traveled the learning curves of new appliances and light switches. I still have taped boxes in the basement.

My psychotherapist partner would ask what part of myself the boxes represent, and I am grateful for her non-judgmental take on boxes that also intrude on her space. She is transitioning too: a successful business, smaller space, new everything. She reportedly does “not transition well.” I  must  concur.

I know transition. I get it. I am a transitional coach, after all. So, turning my skills on my own situation, I prepare to ask myself a question. The coach coaches the coach.

I already know the answers as the questions bounce around my head. I love the sense of accomplishment from completing a task. I value an orderly environment when it comes to my surroundings. I want to enjoy my new island. I am by nature a treasure hunter, even finding treasure within.

So .  . . what do you think I will choose to do with my box lids? What would you choose?

(I got everything into one box lid, and it now resides in my red computer cabinet!)
​
To transitions!

Coach Leona

​This entry’s material is taken from “Mindfulness for Teachers: Simple Skills for Peace and Productivity in the Classroom” (WW Norton 2015) by Patricia A. Jennings.
Already, teachers are returning to their classrooms to prepare themselves and their students for a year of growth and learning.  Soon, the fresh-from-vacation students will be watching and listening to their teachers and class members to get a sense for how they will fit into a new class.  A teacher who has a few tricks of mindfulness in her toolkit stands a fair chance of making a positive impression on her charges right from the start that will continue throughout the year.
In her essay for Greater Good – The Science of a Meaningful Life, author Patricia A. Jennings discusses Seven Ways Mindfulness Can Help Teachers.  I will share briefly her ideas on how mindfulness can make better teachers.

1. Mindfulness helps teachers understand their emotions better. Sometimes teachers get so caught up in what they have to do and how to do it, they lose the present moment.  Disruptions to the teacher’s plan can cause the teacher distress, even anger at the interruption.  Jennings suggests that before a school day even starts, teachers take time to center themselves.  Her method is to stand with feet shoulder width apart, relaxing the knees. Bring attention to the point about two inches above the navel and an inch into the body.  Focus on this point and feel gravity pull your body into the earth.  This simple exercise can help teachers to recognize their own behavior and emotional patterns and choose a response to create connection to students that resonates with positivity.
2. Mindfulness helps teachers manage students who present challenges.  Students respond to their environment, sometimes in negative and disruptive ways, for any number of reasons.  Non-judgmental awareness is an aspect of mindfulness that involves acceptance of things as they are in the present moment.  Becoming aware that we might be judging the moment is to become mindful that we can also select a response that can ease a situation and free us from the stress of judgment. 
3. Teachers’ recognition of their own emotional responses to children can help them to also understand why students are behaving as they are, and then can actively cause a shift from annoyance, threat or hurt, to compassion.
4. Mindfulness can create the scene for a positive learning environment.  Rather than try to control a student’s behavior, teachers can control the space in which all students learn.  This could be as simple as setting up the furniture to curb running, or providing spaces for students to experience a quieter moment alone.  Knowing what is going on in the classroom is aided by the practice of mindfulness, allowing teachers to see potential problems before things escalate out of control.
5. Relationships with children benefit with mindfulness.  Building trust gives students a reason to respect adults as teachers, gives students the message that they have value.  When teachers can value even the non-academic talents of their students, they are building healthy self-esteem that goes far in creating a productive classroom environment.
6. Mindfulness helps us slow down when things are speeding too fast.  Pausing for a moment of mindfulness when concerned about finishing a lesson in short time, helps teachers to feel what is really going on in the classroom, assess the level of engagement and what students need in the moment, and serves as a model of mindfulness to students.  Teachers rush due to anxiety about completion of teaching a lesson, but pausing during review and questioning gives students time to ponder and absorb information to deepen understanding.
7. Mindfulness helps teachers to build community. Teachers model prosocial behaviors which guides the child’s need to belong and fosters a sense of community.  Collaborative learning fulfills needs for social interaction and the opportunities to experience the needs of others in the group, which promotes empathy.  Service projects which focus on individual student strengths further promote a sense that sharing is caring.

The Number One recommendation from Patricia Jennings and myself is to learn more about how to become mindful – it takes practice – and to apply it daily in the classroom.  Everyone benefits, and it might just create the most memorable year ever!

If you are interested in creating a mindful and empathic classroom, I would love to talk to you.  I can be reached at leona@nextpagecoaching.com.
​
To health in educational settings,
Coach Leona

Empathy is the ability to sense another person's emotions and imagine what another might be feeling or thinking.  It is at the core of what makes us human, and serves as a basis for demonstrating ethical behavior, forming healthy relationships at home and work, and is important in curbing bullying, which has become a much-publicized issue of late. The following are some specifics about how parents can set the stage for a child's practice with empathy.

1. Parents can demonstrate empathy toward the child and serve as a model of empathy for others. Empathizing with your child builds trust and a desire in the child to adopt the values that empathy demonstrates.  When parents guide their children toward activities they believe their child will enjoy based on their personalities, they demonstrate an appreciation and understanding of their child as unique and valued.

Children also learn by watching and listening to how parents interact with others in public.  How are you treating that waitress who brought you cold coffee?  How do you treat your spouse when you are disappointed in an outcome?  Children are learning from your responses to both positive and negative events.  Taking time to process events with your child at the proper developmental level further helps to create a bond between you.

It is simpler to demonstrate empathy toward people who are already like us.  Stretch the child a bit more by demonstrating how to show empathy toward those who are different.  My family, for example, periodically visited a mission in Chicago to sing and serve the participants who lived on the streets.  I understood early, that everyone has value, even when it is hard to understand based on their life differences.  Years later, I recognize people who are different from me as my teachers, and allow them to open my heart and perspective.

2. Parents want their children to experience happiness.  With happiness as a focus, it often becomes an exercise in giving children more things.  Helping children to focus on others regularly gives the child more practice with empathy, and with practice, builds an intrinsic sense of happiness. Noting positively a child's attempts at practicing empathy reinforces the action in the child.  Encourage children to discuss their own feelings and how they perceive another person may feel in given situations.  Reminding children that  "we are all in this together" can blur our human divisions and cut a swath toward empathy.

Remember that children are still learning their tolerances for disappointment and frustration, and this can be overwhelming.  Continue to be open with children about their feelings without judgment, and in time they will develop the self-control to manage their emotions constructively and maintain empathy toward those who may be causing some of the tensions.

My hope is to raise children who become ethical adults, those who can lead others into a world where people care about each other.  Understanding another person's perspective with compassion makes for peaceful interactions. Our world needs this now more than ever.

If you liked this article, please share it with parents and caregivers you may know. Any questions about how you can practice empathy at home or in the workplace, please direct to me at leona@nextpagecoaching.com.  You can also read great articles and videos on Next Page Coaching's Facebook page that support the dignity and worth of all people.

Thank you for taking the time here.
Coach Leona

I am posting this entry because something disturbing is going on.  As I have watched the candidates jockeying for position among their peers, and then turn to making derisive comments about their opponents’ choices and their characters, it occurs to me that some of them appear to lack empathy.  Knowing that empathy is a quality that is set in place by age 10, I wonder then what happened to these candidates as children.  Most disturbing of all is the trend for people of like mind, to feel empowered to also disregard other people’s integrity, and to say whatever is on their minds regardless of the hurt it may leave behind. 

So where does the ability to feel empathy come from?  My esteemed friend, psychotherapist and professor, Dr. Deborah Wilke shares this analogy.

Think of your brain as a shelf-lined storage closet, full of boxes of every shape and size.  These are the containers of your human experiences and knowledge.  One box holds intuition, which was a birthday present.  Another holds motivations that all people have, like eating when you are hungry, telling people what you need to survive.  Some boxes exist only as a result of interaction with significant others.  One of these is the box labeled, EMPATHY.

There are three steps in the method to building the box of EMPATHY.

1. The first is tied to forming empathy with peers.  A parent or significant caregiver will encourage a child to talk about how his interactions with his peers might have affected the feelings of the peer.  An example might be to ask for words from the child about what he or she is observing as their friend lost a dog, and to internalize the sadness to experience grief and the pain of it on behalf of the peer.  Over and over again, a child who has developed empathy will try to comfort a peer who is feeling loss because he or she has had the opportunity to feel the sadness and does not want the peer to feel badly.  I have seen it often in the schools when children rush to the defense of another who has experienced a loss.
2. The second and third, are tied to adults in the child’s life.  When a child has the opportunity to witness a parent or caregiver’s empathy toward another adult peer, he is learning lessons for the future.  He is outside looking in, learning by example, how to love, protect, feel the benefit of empathy toward another person in need.  He or she sees the capacity for helping others makes the situation better, and better is a relief.
3. Thirdly, when a parent demonstrates the ability to be empathic toward his own child, another lesson opens to the young person learning how to be empathic.  Take, for example, the child who brings a less than stellar report card home.  A method that teaches a lesson in empathy is to encourage the child to discuss his own feelings about his grade, and then to share how receiving his or her own low grade in the past made the parent feel.  Naming a situation and the feelings that surround it opens communication and trust, and helps the child realize that even when he or she disappoints, he still deserves parental love.  It is a bridge to making a plan for improvement, and ultimately, hope.  Honesty, communication, acceptance.

As a parent, if you are already doing these things – and for many parents, these are natural extensions of their love toward their children – your child will likely develop empathy toward others.  Keeping in mind that conscience is born of empathy, it is well worth the time and attention in your parenting efforts.

If you are unsure of the tools you bring to building empathy, contact leona@nextpagecoaching to learn more about raising your children to be effective leaders who lead through empathy.
​
Building a better world through filling a child’s empathy box,
Coach Leona

​
Parents have a tough job.  Between supporting their children and setting boundaries so that they will become happy and high-functioning humans, there are the bumps and bruises of childhood and the heartbreaks of the teen years that require a parent’s best wisdom to negotiate.  When it comes to a child who is expressing his or her gender identity contrary to the genitals assigned during gestation, parents are often forced to do a serious sorting process which may involve consultation with clergy, doctors or therapists as well as exhaustive Google searches on “gender identity.”

How people identify their gender and choose to express that is basic to viewing who we are and how we fit into the world.  Gender identity carries with it a set of culturally-enforced expectations, many of which can also throw a family into denial, anger, a sense of betrayal, and confusion when family support is absolutely critical for the well-being of the child.  Without support from the family, children are prone to suffer from physical and mental health issues, engage in risky behaviors, or entertain thoughts of suicide.  Without support, children may suffer from repeated bullying inside and outside the home, homelessness, and death by their own hands or those of another. The question is how can one support a child who is violating the values of the family system?

If your child has come out to you as transgender – feeling he or she was placed in the body of the opposite sex, and you are having difficulty dealing with your emotions and sense of loss, I can be contacted via my website – nextpagecoaching.com – for a complimentary coaching session. My hope is to create bridges between parents and their children who are diverging from family values.

​Building bridges for support,

Coach Leona
630-723-4478

James is a man's man.  He likes to spend time at his Michigan cabin fishing, telling his son and longtime work buddies tall tales of his exploits in the surrounding woods, chasing and being chased by various wildlife.  He's a hard-working guy with energy that extends what feels like the length of Nebraska when you have to drive through it.  And his life has fallen into line around him - a well-mannered and creative son who likes to please, and a pretty wife who challenges him, but didn't complain (much) when he grew his Duck Dynasty beard.

Pretty perfect for James, right?  Well, let me tell you the beginning of James' next chapter.  I mean beginning, because this post will not finish his story.  In fact - fair warning - it is going to keep you hanging, so feel free to reply with an ending in the comments below.  Whatever you say will be your perspective, neither good or bad.  I promise that if I get even one story ending, I will tell you what actually happened in this family.  So here goes.

James came home from working construction in the Loop in Chicago one night.  It was one of those cold, blustery days he was grateful he was built to withstand, but by the time he walked in the front door of home-sweet-home, the warmth that greeted his face and the smell of pot roast and all the fixings simmering in gravy brought back to him how wonderful - how perfect - his life was.

He had no sooner hung up his coat, when Sam, his wife of 17 years, came to him as though she had something important to say, but couldn't really disclose it at the moment.  "James, Johnny is going to have a talk with you tonight about something very important, but don't say anything just yet to him over dinner.  I chilled the wine, and I would recommend you have a glass - or two.  You can talk to him after dinner."  

"He's bombing in algebra.  Is that it?"  James asked, rolling his eyes.

"No, he is doing fine in school, for the most part.  It's not grades."  A timer went off in the kitchen, and Sam started to retreat toward the sound.

"Did my boy get in a fight with someone?  Did he win it?"

Sam frowned slightly and kept walking, shaking her head.  "Remember what I said about the wine."

During the meal, Johnny's eyes focused on his plate, and every so often, as if to lighten the heaviness in the room (for what reason?), he would offer a weak smile and comments about the food, or how it might snow and did they want him to lead the shoveling effort.  But after dinner, Johnny hastily retreated to his room.

"That's your cue, James," Sam whispered.  "Remember the love."  This was a comment they often shared in the family when one of them had fallen short of someone's expectations, and he figured this was not going to be good news.  What had this gentle child of his done?  

James climbed the stairs and walked the hallway to his eldest son's bedroom and knocked on the closed door.  "Johnny?  It's Dad.  Can I come in?"

Johnny mumbled something that sounded like "Yeah, okay," and James entered to see his son sprawled out on his bed.

"Mom says you have something to tell me, Johnny.  Are things going okay at school?"

Johnny sat up and threw his legs over the side of the bed, his eyes darting around the room as though searching for words that would make his admission acceptable.  "It's not that, Dad.  But I need to tell you something that you are probably not going to like."  Johnny raised his eyes to glance at his father.  "Well, it will at least surprise you - well, probably."  He drew in his breath and paused.

"You can tell me anything, Johnny. . . anything.  We remember the love here, right?  What's up?"

And then it all spilled out, a dribble of information at first, and then a flood of feelings. "Dad, you know how you have called me Johnny all my life?  Well, I am at the place in my life where I want to be called something else."

James shifted his weight and sat on the edge of the bed.  He exhaled a sigh of relief. "I get it.  We can call you John. You're in high school now.  Heck, Johnny, uh, John - I will call you whatever you have in mind.  Name it."

Johnny stared at his shoes for a moment as though summoning courage, then lifted his gaze to meet his father's.  "Dad, I want to be called by a name more appropriate to who I really am.  I thought the name, Jenny, might be good."

...

Okay, readers.  This is where the story pauses, and you get to finish it.  Please do add to the comments page on this post with a conclusion to this scene.  I am privy to the next page of this story, and it just might not be anything you can imagine.  And I assure you, no one yet knows the ending, because it's not over until it's over (another good thing to keep in mind).

Remember the Love,
Coach Leona

Teachers are some of the most dedicated and overworked people on the planet.  Often they are up early to feed their own families and get them off to school before arriving early in their own buildings to prepare the way for learning in their classrooms.  Days are intense with having to wear so many hats – teacher, nurse, parent, problem-solver, fundraiser, shoe-tier, pet feeder, counselor, first line of defense, liaison, analyst. . . and the list does go on and on.  A teacher is moving and interacting on many levels every day over long days, and the work does not end at school.

​People outside the profession do not really understand the teacher’s life when they say things like, “I wish I got my summers off like you do!” Many teachers use this time out of the classroom to plan their next school year, study new curriculum, earn higher degrees in order to benefit their students and colleagues, or to study new innovations a school district may be implementing for the coming year.  There is more than a tacit understanding that teachers are continually improving themselves, and summer and weekends can disappear quite quickly in pursuit of continuing education.  It is no wonder that new teachers leave the business early on in their careers.
So where’s the love in all of this duty and busyness?  The following are a few areas of focus to help teachers reconnect with their sense of purpose as humans and educators.

• Take care of yourself first.  Often, teachers make themselves an afterthought.  The responsibility is so great, students need immediate attention, administrators have immediate demands, and that sense of wanting to be all things to all people may have been ingrained early in the teacher’s childhood.  When you are worn out, your family is suffering for your over-attention to work details, and you are likely forgetting to take care of you.  Develop discipline around grading papers late into the evening.  Get the sleep you need, eat meals that nourish your body, and take time to enjoy them.  Move your body in unique and energetic ways to maintain an interest in exercise.  Engage in hobbies you enjoy that have nothing directly to do with teaching, but are enriching and give you moments to free yourself from duty.  You have already worked the teacher muscles, so balance your life by exercising something else.
• Cultivate collegial relationships on and off school grounds.  Teachers reach out to students throughout the day; do the same with other staff members.  Treat each other with respect and interest.  Note the accomplishments of others, and the special things that teachers do without expecting to have them noticed.  You will lift the spirits of yourself and another professional and begin to build a spirit of trust and appreciation, qualities present in all schools of cooperation.  Avoid toxic conversation, and think in terms of solution-focused processing.  Observe teachers teaching, especially those who have a reputation for excellence.  Be interested in your new teachers, who will need support even when they won’t ask for it.
• In the workplace and within the community, become active with parents (PTA), the teacher’s union, community outreach projects.  Since it may be a requirement to serve on committees, join those that are aligned with your values and include others of like minds.  Find the things that you love and volunteer when you feel that the time you have for the extras is enough to keep your life joyful.  Don’t really care for movie night once a month?  Perhaps reading at a book fair or hosting an activity at literacy night is more in line with what you value.
• Lastly, remember that your bottom line is students.  Develop your personal philosophy, and let it infuse your classroom.  Your authenticity will go a long way in securing the respect of your students.  Listen to your students and respond with questions that get them to tell you more.  Free yourself from judgment, even when they tell you their hard-to-hear truths.  Smile a lot, because children need to know that school is a safe place, full of people who really care about them. Once they feel safe, they are open learning vessels that will surprise you with their excitement about what you need to teach them.  This is the love – the love of learning, of being present, of accomplishment, and knowing that you are doing exactly what you were created to do, TEACH.

Defining Your Personal Values to Live a Powerful Life
How do you define values?  My dictionary defines it as the “importance, worth, or usefulness of something.”  If you are not sure how you would define values, this entry will help you with that.  Finding your values and how you are currently honoring them is the first step to building self-awareness. Self-aware people are highly energetic and influential in all chosen aspects of their lives.

Can you name your top three values?  How about ten?  When you know what you value, you have a better sense of you are and why you are here.  If you are having trouble starting a list, find one on the internet by googling “values list.”  My coaching practice works with people seeking balance.  Once clients are able to name, value, and rate the qualities according to how they are currently living their lives, that opens a floodgate to balancing the things they love with the necessities in life that are also important.  The result is greater satisfaction and joy.

The following is a partial list of values that I use with folks to assess their values:

Accomplishment
Abundance
Adventure
Authenticity
Autonomy
Clarity
Commitment
Communication
Community
Environment
Excellence
Family
Flexibility
Freedom
Friendship
Fun
Humor
Integrity
Intimacy
Joy
Loyalty
Orderliness
Partnership
Power
Privacy
Professionalism
Respect
Romance
Security
Self-Care
Service
Trust
Truth
Vitality
 
This is certainly not an exhaustive list, and I can imagine as you glance over this list, you might even be thinking, “Where is ______?”  If so, you are already on your way to understanding things that you value.

Once you have made your own large list, rate each with a number rating, 1-10, 1 less valued and 10 carrying a high value.  Then narrow this down to the top 10, then the top five, etc., until you come to your top value.  Sure, you value many things, but what do you value more than anything else in the world?

The next step is to go back to your list of the top 10 values and rate them on how you demonstrate that value in your life.  If your number is smaller than the value rating, this points to an imbalance in how you are living your life compared with what you truly value.

Here’s an example.  Let’s say that I narrow down my values list to my most important (a 10), FAMILY. Yet, I feel that I only demonstrate that value at about a 7. I must then ask myself what I also value that takes my time and effort away from FAMILY. PROFESSIONALISM comes in at a 9, and this is directly attached to my job and how much time I spend at maintaining my professionalism.  It seems that my work interferes with the way I show how I value my family.  This imbalance is definitely worth exploring. Besides maintaining my professional attitude, which includes being there on time each day, what part of that can I change to demonstrate to my family that I value them first in my life?  Perhaps I can develop new organizational strategies that make the stressful mornings more joyful - and I can still be on time to work.

The good news is that we can all create a conscious shift to honor what we value based on its importance in our lives.  Core values remain fairly steady during the course of our lives, but certain life-changing events can have an effect on shifting those values. Defining what we value can lead us into uncovering truths about ourselves that will deepen our relationships, generate energy, and set the soul on fire!

I can help you move your life into balance through shifting you energetically toward your true values. Visit my website for contact information and drop me a line or call. Everyone deserves a life that demonstrates their greatest values are being honored.

​Toward what you value,
Coach Leona

​
Sure.  There is software out there that can be downloaded to get you organized.  Let’s say you haven’t done that yet, and it’s late Sunday and your head is like a bowl full of fish of every color, size and shape darting so fast every which way, they become a tangled blur.  I have been in that state of overwhelm, not sure where to begin, and with little time left to make sense of the week ahead.  I want to share a simple strategy that helps to unravel some of my own anxiety over getting that frenzy under control.

First, select your tools. You may prefer pencil and paper, dry erase board and marker, or whatever you like to work with when communicating with yourself.  If you prefer to work on a computer or other electronic device, go for it.  The cut and paste feature will make the process a snap.  Some kinesthetic organizers like to write their items on post-it notes so that they can freely move them about.

You may use any other resources you have at your disposal, in fact.  Perhaps you have a planner that already shows the most important details of your week.  Likely, there are many things that also have weight and importance that you did not put in there, and those are the fish darting back and forth like shadows threatening to pull you under.  Let’s call them out, line them up and see what’s here.

Start by allowing yourself to become quiet, breathe, and then, thoughtfully and quickly write down every task you can think of that needs to get done tomorrow.  If there are things hanging over your head that have a further-out completion date, go ahead and write those down also.  You named them, and now they are no longer a tangle of shadows.  Don’t prioritize or put time limits on anything at this stage, just write – write – write.  This should take a few minutes, so when you feel you have exhausted your mental list, remember you can add anything you wish later as it comes to you.  Your list might look like this at this point:

Seminar 10:00
Give the dog a bath
Call vet
Pick up dry cleaning
Pick up wine – Bob’s mom next week
Prepare guest room
Purchase flowers
Return DVD’s
Meet with interns at 9:00-9:45
Janssen proposal
Letter to Editor
Buy new shoes
Hair appointment
 
You get the idea.

Next, underline the most time-restricted items, things that need to be done ASAP tomorrow.  In my case scenario, I have a 9:00 intern meeting.  This is number 1 on my list because I am scheduled to prep interns for a seminar in which they are taking part at 10:00.  These two things fit together, and so I place them next to each other on my revised list. I note that there will be a 15-minute interval between these activities when I might have time to call the vet to make an appointment, so I insert this between the first two items on my list. Stuff happens with interns, however, so I add a star to the vet call, and note an alternative time.  In this case, lunch is also a good possibility for making that appointment.

Continue to comb over your list.  Flesh out your day, transferring each item that must be done tomorrow in an order that makes sense.  What can wait until Tuesday?  Or the weekend?  Or next week?  Group your remaining items into time-related groups, and then continue to evaluate how to make best use of time when doing errands.  For example, scanning my list, I need to prepare for Bob’s mom coming on Saturday.  I will group all the things together that I need to accomplish to make Mom’s stay a happy one:  Giving the dog a bath (or taking him to the groomer), Picking up wine, preparing the guest room, and shopping for food, are all things that can be done toward the end of the week.  Picking up flowers can be done Saturday morning before Mom arrives (or, better yet, I can eliminate this errand and use the fragrant roses in my garden).
After work tomorrow, I can return the DVD’s and pick up the dry cleaning.  Make note that I need the ticket stub for the dry cleaners and the DVD’s in my hands before I leave for work.

Following similarly, you should begin to feel more in control, seeing how that swirl of fish is now becoming defined creatures moving about the space in a more fluid and organized manner.  I still know I have the proposal and a letter to an editor, but these are part of my work day, and while they are large and important, I trust myself.  I know that once I am involved in a project, I find energy to finish because I am . . . well . . . competent!  I personally use the notes for these newly organized activities and fit them into the appropriate time slots in my planner. Now I feel less pressured because I have a keen awareness of all the things that await me, and each thing is in its place.  Other necessities, even emergencies, will come up, of course, but for now I have clarity, and I can sleep tonight without the added concern about missing something important.

Making this sort of planning a daily or weekly habit, unpacks the overwhelm, increases clarity of purpose, and raises energy for a productive, smoothly-flowing day – or week.  It boosts your confidence, and generally improves your sense of control as life comes at you.

Quiet the mental chaos – Write it down – prioritize – group activities for best use of time – and keep track of these essentials in one place, so that you can quickly refer to them as needed. Don’t forget to pencil in time for yourself! And remember to smile because you are competent, committed, and fully aware. 

You’ve got this!

Coach Leona
630-723-4478